Archives for April 2011

A tribute to a great man

This is really hard to express in words. Very hard. Not just because its emotional, but I don’t want to mess up a tribute to an amazing person.

Today I found out a very good friend had suddenly passed away. It’s a shock to all of us that knew him as it was sudden and unexpected. Everyone is coping as best they can, I’ve had a lot of calls with people in tears, people rambling, people confused. Sadly, I don’t cry, it’s not that I don’t like it, I just don’t, I deal with emotion differently. But I needed a way to express myself and I figured this was the best way to get it out of my system. I don’t have many followers so mostly this is just for me.

So who was he. Well I have worked with him for over 20 years. He was a business owner, family man, extremely talented with his work, intelligent, funny, lover of people, skillful debater, generous with his compassion, an all round true blue Australian. He was a guy everyone loved. And I mean that, they truly did. Even people he didn’t get along with had a soft spot for him. In the Industry we were in he was generous with his time. And his help and advice to new people created many amazing careers. He was a giver of everything and humble.

And he was also one of  the few people who truly understood friendship. We didn’t talk all the time, but if either of us needed a hand or some advice we’d know the other would help if they could. Didn’t matter if it was business or personal, we would do what we could. He has helped me in countless ways, with my career, my business, my personal life, even my politics. We could have a raging debate about anything (usually politics!), and then sit down and have a laugh at dinner together. He was ridiculously fun to work with, even if we had a difference of opinion on how to do something on set, we’d discuss it and the most sensible idea won out. There was no ego, no one-up-manship, both of us worked to get the job right and had incredible respect for each others talents. Over the years we developed almost a mind meld, we could sense when the other wanted to change something and we had a discreet way of letting each other know, it did confuse the rest of the crew, but it worked for us. He was without doubt my favorite person to work with.

Its very hard to consider that I will never hear from him again, never hear that gruff voice on the end of the phone telling me he’s in “more shit than the early settlers”, never share another dinner, never work together, never end up in one of our fucking stupid funny conversations because we had time to kill. Its sad to think  that after all the incredibly amazing spots we created together our last job was a shitty little studio chroma key thing. Even then we had a ball being idiots while we did it. He could make the most mundane job an experience to remember.

The industry we both shared has been left a massive hole to fill. His incredible talent and generosity will be greatly missed. I wonder how many up and coming creative people are going to be a little less encouraged because of his absence. How many young filmmakers aren’t going to get their creations made because he’s not there to get them going. In an industry where ego is king and the experienced players tend to be assholes with their heads up their asses.. he was unique, an Icon.

Life will never quite be the same again.

RIP my friend, you won’t be forgotten, no more DFI’s.


Public Heath Care – What the FUCK is the problem

In America they have a phrase.. Medical Debt.. do you know what that is? It’s when someone can’t pay their medical bills. We’re not talking some hot porn starlet who has had her tits done.. oh no.. this is Joe or Josephine Average, who needed urgent medical assistance, get it, then can’t pay the bill for saving their lives.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!

Before I start this rant and trust me I am FIRED up about this.. let me tell you a few things. Firstly I live in Australia where we have a Public Health System paid through taxes. It’s not perfect, it needs more money, but at least ANYONE can go to a Public Hospital and at NO cost, get treatment. If you’re flash with cash you can have medical insurance and go Private and get a fancy room and a Cordon Bleu dinner. However no matter WHAT your station in life is you can get decent medical help. And the second thing.. I have worked for 30 years.. on a very decent wage thank you.. I have paid a LOT of tax. I now own a business and am being royally screwed by the tax office. And even though I do pay a lot, I have never, EVER, once in my life, EVER regreted the money I have put into our public health system, even though I do have Private Medical Insurance. So why would a capitalist like me feel like that? well im glad you asked!

I am, and always will be a Socialist. Well I prefer Humanist, look it up people and learn. Socialist makes it sound all commy and bad, which it isn’t, but lets face it it’s had a bad wrap! I believe in the fundamental rights of humans, not just to live, but for things like basic medical care. The minute we start putting a price on someones life or well being, well then we are trully and honestly FUCKED!!! I’m a proud Australian because no matter how much we critise our free heath system.. at least we fucking have one! Here you can go to a doctor and not pay a cent, get the treatment you need, or a hospital if you need to. Yes, we take care of our own.

Now to America.. that great icon of capitalism. Oh how that word makes me shudder, but thats for yet another blog. I have a friend there at the moment, she has double pneumonia and is not well, she can’t work. Her partner has a low income job. She has been to hospital several times with this, near death. They send her a bill, they can’t pay, they get a “Medical Debt”. She can’t afford the basic meds to be able to even breath successfully out of hospital, so she can’t sleep or function. Her kids have no medical coverage, her partners job just doesnt provide it. This is how America treats it’s beloved people.

In a country facing massive economic problems, crippling national debt and some tough financial choices, they still have big armies in foreign countries yet a Congress that wants to kill off the Universal Health Care reforms. Why? I don’t get it? Are these people such arseholes they can’t think for a minute what’s important. The GLORY of their stupid fucking national pride overseas.. or the heath and well being of their people. Um, call me stupid but if you can’t even provide basic heath care to your own people who the fuck are you invading other countries tell them how they should live. It’s wrong. It’s SO very fucking wrong.

Wake up you pricks and show some fucking humanity to your own fucking people.. this from the worlds most right wing religious nation. Yeah religion is such a fucking humanitarian persuit!

This is for my friend who’s there now and can’t breath.. can’t sleep..

Think about how that would feel if it was you.


A diatribe about.. diatribes

Ok i admit there is an element of irony in this.. but fuck it.. it’s my blog, my FUCKING rules!! Oh shit, did i suddenly put my FACEBOOK persona on?

aaahhhh yes Facebook, such an innocent name but such a prick of a place to hang! Is it me or have people totally lost the goddam plot on social networks. There wouldn’t be a day goes by now i don’t see someone.. on EITHER of my profiles, (normal or “secret”), throw a massive dummy spit about something or someone. And so VENAL.. i mean seriously if you were face to face with a group of people and you spewed that shit out.. they’d have you fucking locked up!!! Ok i can see you all knodding you know what I mean.. i’ll bet some of you are even guilty of these rants. tsk tsk tsk..

I keep my Facebook status like this blog, either humorous commentary.. life observations or.. yes the ODD dummy spit.. However, I try and contain my “Status Rants” based on the following scenario.. I’m in a pub, drinking with mates.. somethings pissed me off.. what do i scream out? Simple isn’t it. Do I name the focus of my anger (remember the “group” of friends at the pub are you facebook buddies – all of them).. NO.. do i give veiled clues to their identity.. NO.. I just vent some shit and move on. If it’s a personal problem with someone I don’t “status” a goddamn fucking thing. Why? because from what i’ve seen, after the inital buzz of doing it.. there’s a fuck-load of regret that washes in like a  massive turd tsunami.

I’ve seen some sad sad motherfuckers doing some pathetic shit on their updates.. the intial rant.. the follow up total fucking mad rant.. then the ever so wilder and more abusive rant.. then the pity rant.. the “what about me” rant.. etc..  yes, looks familar doesn’t it.. facebook ranters are like cheap drunks on a Goon buzz.. and most of these fools are SOBER!

COME ON PEOPLE!!!!! It’s a fucking SOCIAL site!!! it’s not even REAL!!!

Lets all promise now to following these basic yet important facebook rules..

1. I WILL NOT use facebook as a place to vent my spleen about other facebookers I have friended (non-friends are fair game of course)

2. I WILL NOT name and shame friends who i think are pissing me off at this micro-second.

3. I WILL promise to walk away, YES WALK AWAY from my facebook page when i feel the boiling anger and temptation to take some arsehole down with the blinding power of my pathetic Status Update – come on, do you really think your making a cutting social commentary on the person, or just looking like some whinging arse with an axe to grind?

4. I WILL NOT DELETE FRIENDS IN A MOMENT OF ANGER. (ok, sorry that ones for me.. Red.. you fucking idiot!)

So live by these 3 (ok 4 for me ) rules.. Try to post something silly.. stupid.. funny.. if you’ve got shit on the liver for the day.. stay away from Facebook! Lets try and make it fun friendly and dirty mmmmm.. yes, like a night at the pub!!!


Best Friends.. Make The Worst Enemies!!

I have recently got in contact with a close friend of mine who I’d had a falling out with several decades ago. It got me thinking about how we ended up falling out in the first place and how NASTY friends can be when it turns bad.

I could count on one hand the number of “best” or close friends that i’ve had. I know a lot of people and have a lot of acquaintances, but I am hesitant to get to that trust level you need with a best friend. It’s like a sacred covenant.. a mutual understanding you both reach, nothing is hidden.. everything is revealed. Well thats how I treat it anyway and so have my few best friends over the years. For me thats a big deal, a REALLY big deal. And that is where the trouble starts when things turn sour.

The friend this topic is about I’ve known since I was 10, lets call him Enid, he reads this blog and that name is a bit of an injoke between us. Enid and I went through school together, and the start of Uni. We share a lot of common interests but also have enough differences to make things interesting. We are both competent writers, although he has always maintained he’s better than I am.. sure try it on. We both ended up in advertising although though different paths, so our work lives never crossed, luckly.

In our early 20’s we had a falling out.. and typically for males our age it was over women and drugs. Such a combination. Anyway, one of the “hallmarks” of a “best” friend relationship is of course honesty. And thats where the trouble started. He had developed a little taste for a certain style of umm smoke.. After spending endless nights visiting him while he laid on the floor and stared at a candle (ok now you know what he was umm smoking), I had to be the one to tell him “dude its fucking with your head man” ok well maybe not in those exact words, but they do add to the story! He also had a flat mate who was anti-drugs and objected to him umm drying his hydroponic creations out in the stove and was begging for me, as his best friend, to talk to him. Oh and I was also kinda keen to have sex with her.. so that did play a little factor. So a verbal stoush ensued over a few weeks, with both of us dragging up shit from our past where we’d made a mistake or been wrong.. fuck you can IMAGINE how much of that there was!

Well Enid made his decision, he kicked out his flat mate, got a new one and promptly stopped talking to me (well we both stopped) and found a better way to dry his plants. We didnt speak for 19 years, we are now, and as is the case with best friends we just picked up as normal like it had never happened. Oh, i did manage to fuck his NEW flat mate.. don’t know if I ever told him though.. oppsss.. but honestly Enid she’d moved out.. it wasnt on your couch or kitchen bench tops!

With best friends you know EXACTLY what to say to send the other one into a rage. Things you supported each other on, are now fair game to be torn down and thrown in each others face. Its cruel, it hurts and you wonder as it happens why the fuck you ever trusted each other in the first place. In some ways I think best friend relationships are tighter and also more dangerous than you have with a romantic partner. Shit I’ve been through a divorce and it wasnt as nasty as these got!

So i guess thats the irony of best friends.. when its good its brilliant.. but when its bad it can be the worst fucking pain in the ass in your life.. because best friends do truly make the best.. worst enemies.


Trends… Being Cool.. Tossers

Why oh WHY do people get sucked into trends? As i mentioned I’ve spent more than a few years in advertising and man have I seen some stupid shit.  I suppose I shouldn’t complain I’ve used trends more than once to flog a product. People are gullable, they eat that shit up. Associate it with something “trending” and you’ve at least got their attention. Yawn. Sheep!

This all relates to a facebook update I once did about exercise. Yes exercise. For various reasons I am supposed to walk at least 4 klms a day. Doctors orders, and mostly I do. I’ve been doing this little feat of endurance for the past 8 years. Rain hail or shine.. ok the rain bits a lie i’m not that keen! So how does this relate to trends.. well im glad you asked..

Every January on or about the 3rd, I see new “runners”. Yes all of December hardly anyone passes you.. then January they start. All decked out in the latest brand name runners, body hugging singlets and tight tight shorts.. omg, WHY do guys do that, man I have NO desire to see your fucking package bulging out at me, and its like a car smash you can’t stop but look at it! Fellers, girls can wear those arse squeezing shorts because THEY DONT HAVE A PACKAGE! Who are you trying to impress???

Anyway, I’m getting off topic.. so there they are all decked out, looking pretty fucking cool, trendy brand names clearly displayed. Probably about $400 worth of kit bought after their New Years resolution to “get fit”!

So, how long does it last.. well week 1 you see them every say 2nd day, week 2 maybe twice.. usually by week 3.. gone.. All that money on the coolest looking track gear and.. can’t be fucked anymore. Yet.. those diehards with the old kit, crappy runners and NO expensive water bottle, yes you guessed it.. I still pass them every day, we have a wave and smile, as is the “code” with daily exercisers, and move on. And thats what I have learned from 30 years of advertising and 8 years as a walker.. it’s the people who DONT follow trends who stand out.

And what do I wear? Cheap joggers, old shorts (baggy! NO Package poking out!), t shirts that have seen better days and a hat that my children still laugh at when i put it on, sillyness and sunsmart.

So next time you decide you wanna look cool by following the next stupid trend.. think about me and joggers.. and how every January I get to laugh myself stupid at the latest bunch of package showing trendites.


Deep Throat, A Metaphor for Life?

I’m a HUGE fan of 70’s and 80’s porn. Bad music, hairy bush, cheesy acting.. yes I love it all! Porn was simpler then, actually had a few attempts at a storyline and at times took the piss out of itself. Now it all seems to be jackhammer fucking, spitting and choking, sorry thats just not sex to me. And I think the portrayal of women was better, sure we have women in Dom flicks now etc, but  women seemed to have had a fairly even power balance back then, well at least in the ones i’ve seen.

Of course there were issues, in an unregulated industry that was run from garages and dodgy store fronts you’d expect to see problems. But that had more to do with christian “moral outrage” holding the industry underground than any failing of porn itself. The modern face of porn is now growing to show a professional industry moving to proper self-regulating and safer practices. Hopefully!

Anyway back to Deep Throat. Now there was a movie, it had a premise (wow!), yes it was basic but fuck it at least it had one. Yes the title pretty much told you the theme, but there was a lot more going on with the story as opposed to today’s porn.. ie: “Sorority Sluts Get it In The Ass” – yes you pretty much know what your going to see and that’ll be all it is! There was cheesy acting, some clever ideas (who could forget Coke Man hahaha), and what verged on clever scripting (my favourite scene is where the guys eating the woman out at the start and she lifts his head and says “do you mind if I smoke while you eat” haha). It was made on a tight budget, but managed to generate a huge following, helped of course by the christian moral outragers. The sex was hot, but fun, the shooting style a little more relaxed than now and the music, oh wow, you HAVE to hear the music! It was a porn flick that didn’t take itself too seriously and that was one of it’s biggest charms.

Seriously if you havent seen it, and I can’t imagine anyone who loves porn who wouldn’t have this in their collection, do yourself a massive favour and watch it. Watch it with your loved one, even they will get a kick out of it, Deep Throat is trully a movie to share.

So what is this Metaphor for life crap.. well think about it.. it’s far from perfect yet you love its quaintness.. it’s never pretended to be anything more than it is.. it’s simple but clever in parts.. and you love spending time with it.. over and over..

Pity more people weren’t like that.

oh and apologies to modern porn, I’m an old romantic and still love the idea of a single camera porn film shoot.. I’m sure there are some very worthy flicks out and I just haven’t seen them, but given the volume that comes out, can you blame me.


The Stepford Husbands – a Sporting Nightmare!

Let me say from the outset I’m no great sport fan. I love tennis,  I do like AFL, I tolerate Rugby League but that’ about it. Sport bores me, to watch and play. And having spent years working with professional sportsmen, they have also managed to put me off it.. but that’s another blog. My father, however, is sport mad.. he made me do all that crap when I was a kid, Soccer, Cricket, League, Tennis.. it NEVER ended. Now I’m a father and well.. in some twist of “its-not-fucking-fair” fate, my son is sport OBSESSED. I have a theory that sport obsession skips a generation, someone prove me wrong please!

Now before you think this is about angry footy parents – stop – no – this is about something entirely more bizarre!

For the last 5 years my son has played footy. The exact code doesn’t matter. This has meant every Saturday or Sunday for 6 months of the year we traipse off to some sport ground at fuck knows where… I have learned more about the town i live in doing this than 20 years shooting location Commercials! Now over this 5 years I have noticed something odd, weird and down right bizarre.

As you can imagine it’s the same group of parents, with some leavers and joiners over the years, but fundamentally the same group. It all started so nicely, friendly, sociable. Then the freaky shit started. As the kids went up a few grades, suddenly all the fathers started wearing the team jersey. Yes 20 males with beer guts and middle aged hair problems all in a team jersey. Ugly. Then they were all being “water boys”, “goal umpires”, and i don’t mean “oh fucking shit its my turn this week”.. I mean it became political!

“oh look Bob’s been flicked this week, that’ll learn him the asshole, he’s too fat to stay the distance, fucker should get fit if he wants to do it, he’s letting the team down!”

Then the coach huddle started.. yes 20 grown men nearly outnumbering the players hanging off the coaches every word at half time. All passing Gator aid to their little up and coming star player, nodding at the right parts, patting their kid on the arse. I mean for fucks sake, what are they going to do, does this somehow make them more efficient fucking water boys?

“Coach has decided to make the pack move forward more so im gunna make sure I have that water at the ready!” WOW!!! go man go!!!

Seriously you have to see this shit it’s like the Stepford Husbands.. 20 men dressed the same all smiling and kissing arse.. SCARY!

So what about me?  Well I have spent 5 years avoiding this shit.. i really don’t care what the coach has to say nor am I about to run my arse off taking the little shits water! And needless to say I DON’T wear the fucking team jersey. So how does my son feel about this? He loves it. Why? Because sport is his thing and I respect that, I support him, I pay the fee’s, I make sure he’s at games on time, but the rest is up to him. It’s taught him that even though people may not like something they tolerate it because it’s important to someone they love. And he respects me for the time I give him, we actually have a good time driving there and back. And honestly isn’t that what these things are about, letting YOUR KID have some fun and do a little bonding!

Oh and I um forgot to mention how I avoid the other parents, the secret to my survival..  I have a Digital SLR camera and a fucking hot 300mm lens, I spend my time doing something my son actually gets a kick out of. I take action pics of him and his mates playing. He loves it, his mates love it, they post them all over fricking Facebook.. i’m a fucking goddam hero! And i TOTALLY avoid the other parents.



Its Just Like Any Other Job

I have been around the block a few times. I’ve met an incredible diverse range of people from all occupations. Recently I have had the fortune of getting to know some cam girls and hookers. Now before you all start thinking.. oh Fleshy’s had a dry spell and he’s forking over the coin.. no.. well yes I have had a dry spell.. but that’s another blog topic.. this is about those sweet ladies who happened to earn their living selling sex, this is an extended version of a status I did on Facebook.

Sex workers are not new to my sphere of friends, when i was a photographer I used to have a few as clients for various portfolio pics they needed. And what is also not new is the way a lot of guys seem to treat them. Because their work involves nudity and sex it seems to send some guys into another world.. of assholeness. For some reason the removal of clothes also indicates the removal of manners and thoughts of humanity. I have seen some of the messages these guys send to cam girls, and how they treat them even on their social web sites.. fucking hell.. I wouldn’t talk to my dog like that! There’s an immediate assumption that because these girls are selling themselves they are.. loose, cheap, stupid and easy.

WOW.. just because they take their clothes off.  Also the no means no rule seems to go out the window with some guys. This is a JOB, its what they do to earn a living.. just like your fucking accountant. If you went to your accountant and had a great plan to rip off the Tax department and they said no.. are you going to tell them to fuck off they are doing it anyway then jump the desk and force them to?

It’s time we all remembered that these people are someones Daughter, Sister, Niece, Aunt, Mother, Girlfriend or simply friend. They deserve our respect just like we would do for any other profession. Don’t confuse your moral ideas of what they do, with who they are. That’s your fucking problem not theirs.

Some of the smartest and friendliest people i have met have been hookers.. some of them I knew their career before we met, others I found out later. I just think it’s time people stopped making assumptions about someone based on their line of work. It may surprise you that I know a few accountants who are wild party animals, one in particular has a habit of being thrown out of casinos for.. public displays of overt affection lol – there’s another stereotype broken.

Besides they have the COOLEST stories!