Own my own Business… What the FUCK was I thinking

In Australia you hear a lot about the plight of the “aussie worker” and until about 12 months ago I was one of that supposed down trodden class. Business owners are the fat cats living off the sweat and toil of their humble poor workers, smoking fat Havan Cigars lit off hundred dollar bills and holidaying with Penthouse Pets. So I thought, fuck yeah that’s for me and I’d scale the heights of massive profits and class status and, omfg Own My Own Business.

What a load of putrid shit. Aussie workers have NOTHING to FUCKING complaint about. Try having a business you whingers, try paying staff, the bills, the rent, the bank, the blood sucking Govt Departments, THE TAX OFFICE! Then comply with obscure trading regulations, competition rules, Warranty rules, Human Resources, Workplace Health and Safety. UUGGGHHHHH.

Oh Workplace Health and Safety, lol.. if this wasn’t true it’d be funny. Recently in Australia a corporation got sued by, and lost, to a employee because.. wait for it.. they slipped over in THEIR OWN HOME, while working from said home. The court deemed their employer was responsible for the state of THEIR house, and let me make it clear, this person WANTED to do this, the company didn’t force them to work from  home, THIS SUITED THE EMPLOYEE. So not only are we responsible for a safe workplace.. but your fucktarded home as well! NICE! I’m sure at some point some fuck will sue an employer because they didn’t install a fucking pool at their home so they could cool off on those hot summer days when  they were home working!

ARSES!!!!!

Ok I acknowledge there are a small percentage of small business owners who are shonky motherfuckers.. god knows I’ve worked for some. But what about the rest of us, the honest ones, the ones who pay on time, provide bonuses, a safe work environment? CARE about their staff. Why must we be regulated out of fucking existence. Here’s a little tip Labor – oh and i’m looking at you too Liberal! Australian Small Business employ the LARGEST percentage of TAX PAYING workers and pay a FUCK LOAD of tax themselves. We can’t afford fancy Lawyers for “Bottom of the Harbour” tax schemes! No we just diligently “pay the piper” every fucking Quarter.

That’s right you Public Service arses, WE make you look good when the employment figures come out, WE pay your wages… you know WAGES, something you’re only likely to get once in a while if you own a small business because, your the last fucker to get paid!

OK, so this isn’t really a shot at ALL Aussie workers, in fact I love my staff, they work hard, genuinely worry about how my business is going and deserve every cent they get paid. However this is for the shallow minded fuckwits who think the world owes them a living (or can sue over PETTY BULLSHIT reasons), get off your arses and do some work dickheads!

So why this rant? well im sitting here tonight still working through the nightmare that is the Australia BAS system and a friend of mine (thanks Lisa) sent me the following, it’s not mine but I’d love to know who wrote it.. because it is sooo very fucking true..

The Department of Labor received an anonymous tip that a local employer was exploiting a mentally retarded worker, so they sent an agent to investigate. When the agent arrived at the workplace, he was greeted by the owner who asked what was the purpose of the visit. The agent said he wanted to know how many people worked there and what they were paid.The owner said: “We have two workers here. One is my assistant. I pay him $22 an hour, give him two breaks a day, four week’s vacation with pay each year, provide lunch, and pay for his sick days. Then there is a mentally challenged worker. He works about eighteen hours every day, does about 90% of all the work, and makes about $10 per week. He has no breaks and gets nothing for sick days. But I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life.”The agent was shocked and said: ‘That’s the guy I want to talk to, the mentally challenged one.”The owner replied: “That would be me.”

FUCK YEAH!
Fleshy